8 Big Uh-Ohs! in Movie History

Forget movie twists, any writer can tell you it was all a dream. The real challenge in making a movie that people get into is the ‘Big Uh Oh.’ That’s the point in the movie where life is never going to be the same for the main character. For example, ‘Uh-oh Dorothy is running away from home. Here comes a Twister!!! Now that’s a Big uh-oh. We’re not in Kansas anymore!’ Get it? Okay, cool, let’s proceed with some of the Biggest Uh-Ohs, in no particular order.

Vertigo Scottie (played by James Stewart) blows his cover when Madeline– Uh Oh! tries to kill herself by jumping into the San Francisco Bay.

2001 A different kind of big Uh Oh, 2001 presents the viewer with a jarring cut from a bone thrown in the air in prehistoric times to an orbiting space station, letting audiences know anything can happen, and probably will. And then does.

The Wizard of Oz Okay, I used it as an example, but it’s definitely one of the best, fascinating Uh-Ohs in movie history.

The Last Boy Scout As the movie starts, a football player runs down the field to avoid being tackled. As an opposing player comes to tackle him, the player with the ball pulls out a handgun and shoots the opponent, uh-oh. He improbably makes it to the end zone and turns the handgun on himself. Big Uh-Oh. Just what kind of movie is this? While I agree this scene borders on the absurd in 1991, it is oddly prescient of the media ultraviolence which would become commonplace in the 21st century.

Double Indemnity This one is pretty easy, but also interesting, because of the flashback structure, we’re already saying uh-oh when Neff starts his tale, but the Big Uh-Oh comes when he and Phillis decide to commit murder, most foul.

Toy Story Uh oh, theres a new toy; Big Uh-Oh– I’m lost with him!!!

Close Encounters of the Third Kind Despite being voted off the AFI 100 Greatest Movies list 10th anniversary, Close Encounters remains a masterwork and when Richard Dreyfuss encounters alien spacecraft, the audience says uh oh, but when little Barry is presumably abducted, the big Uh Oh has commenced.

Psycho Hitchcock again proves he is the master of the big Uh Oh, when Norman’s ‘Mother’ murders the little uh oh personified by Marion Crane in the shower and creating a big Uh-Oh.

Surprise! He doesn’t want the money.

Garden Party – porn, marijuana and rock ‘n’ roll!

I spend a lot-a time on the internet. And it seems wherever I click, whether it be my favorite social networking site or checking movie times, I’m confronted by movie ads. I was bombarded with hostile misogyny for Forgetting Sarah Marshall and told how cool old folk could really be by incessant Shine A Light banners. This week, I suppose I’m the target audience for the dismal, less than TV movie quality, ensemble drama Garden Party. But what the Internet in all her wisdom doesn’t know is that I already saw Garden Party about a month ago on a promo screener. Along with the screener came this woefully wonderful worded description:

Are you young, sexually confused, just trying to get by? Do you sing, dance or possess some other talent? Welcome to the world of GARDEN PARTY. At the center of the story is 15-year-old April (Willa Holland). She is running from one bad situation into another, hoping to find an answer that doesn’t involve taking off her clothes. As April navigates Los Angeles, she falls in with a group of confused kids struggling to chase their dreams. The black widow at the center of this web is a sexy, pot-dealing Realtor named Sally St. Clair (Vinessa Shaw). Anyone who gets too close falls victim to her kinky entanglements. For some it goes bad, for other worse, but that’s just a day in the life of the Garden Party.

As the kids say on the Internet these days: WTF?

Garden Party is garbage. The budget should have been used to feed the real homeless, troubled, and exploited kids in L.A., not make a movie about them. I don’t even know if that’s what the movie is about, actually, anyway. It’s so bad, that I’m not going to even waste your time talking about it.

Instead, I’m going to mention that two of the stars of Garden Party were in two other movies that are true, modern masterpieces. Vinessa Shaw, who in Garden Party plays some kind of femme fatale played the prostitute Domino in Eyes Wide Shut. Eyes Wide Shut is worth multiple viewings on DVD and on the big screen. Save your money and rent it, instead of Garden Party.

Patrick Fischler has been in other things you should see before you see Garden Party, namely Mullholland Drive, which is probably the best American movie of the last 10 years, other than Eyes Wide Shut, but he’s also been on ‘Veronica Mars,’ and in The Black Dahlia and Idiocracy, both of which aren’t masterpieces, but are well worth more effort than the abysmal Garden Party.

In the words of one of my heroes, Alfred E. Neuman: “Blech!”

We look interesting; but we’re not.

Tags: bad movies, garden party, homeless kids, internet banners